we bought a zoo

aahh, so beautiful, what a beautiful, realistic, believsble, original movie (actually based on a true story). genuinely touching, true characters, matt damon is great as always although he needs to moisturize some, years pass, you know Mr. Damon??

tinker tailor soldier spy

granted, not the best Christmas Eve movie but i like gsrry oldman and he's really good at everything he does and the story, although a little complicated for my primitive mind, seems interesting. does a great job of recapturing and recreating the imagery of the time in which it is set. good movie.

twilight

exactly what you'd expect, maybe a little better, i mean let's get real the only reason i was waiting for it to come out was for that stud muffin taylor lautner.i'm curious to see how much longer he'll retain this exquisite beauty, it seems so fragile, this guy exploded on the world scene at just the perfect precipice between teen age and adulthood.

the sitter

it's not emetic, i mean you can get through it but, give me a break, now that the guy has lost all the weight and is borderline sexy, i can't accept him as his fat self, i'm sorry but what were they waiting for to release it??

the muppets

unexpectedly good, a real labor of love, Mr. Segal nicely cast, good story, funny, fast-paced, a beautiful resurrection of the muppets for a new generation

the girl with the dragon tattoo

beautiful, better, much better than the original, just enough hollywoodesque to be a beautiful movie but no so much that it betrays the atmosphere of the country in which it is based. beautifully cast, just a good, good movie, see it!

the descendants

ugghh, de-pres-sing...

the darkest hour

as far as the story goes, yet another piece of boring, carbon-copy hollywood shit. what IS novel about this movies is the magnificence of the moscow cityscape which is uniquely beautiful and magnificent. i mean you can see it but it's horrible.

the artist

ahh, what a breath of fresh air, what a unique masterpiece, don't miss it, it's scintillatingly brilliant.

sherlock holmes

beautiful, thrilling as much as the first, the protagonist is brilliant as holmes, watson is equally good, moriarty is believably menacing, the story is naturally excellent and the undercurrent of homoerotic tension is humorous. see it!

new years eve

just a stupid, money grabbing miss-mash of celebrities. you won't miss much if you skip it, really.

J edgar

kind of white-washed rendition of the man, kind of more family-friendly than reality probably, an attempt to portray a possibly decadent story as a great homoerotic love affair. I don't really buy it but then again I was touched by the fact that these two guys had such a lasting relationship and supposedly never missed a dinner together.

arthur christmas

forgettable, boring, annoying, tries to put a new spin on a famliar...but fails! the control center concept is kind of cool though, and that's probably because I respond to womb symbols.

my week with marilyn

thought provoking regarding the nature of true talent and stage presence, marilyn was brilliant in front of the camera, she conversed with her audience through it, olivier represented the past in acting plus he had probably lost his brilliance when he embraced (?) his homosexuality

hugo

gorgeous movie, prodigious use of color, especially blue and red. I saw it in 2D, I saw it in 3D, it's a masterpiece either way. Congratulations Mr. Scorsese!

I Don't Know How She Does It

every you'd expect from a movie of this ilk, beautifully made, beautifully photographed, all the best 'touristy' corners of our fair Boston :)

Drive

painfully beautiful, an elegy in raw, angry violence. Not always easy to watch. Mr. Gosling shines through like a an old Hollywood star of days past. a real treat but not for the faint at heart

Straw Dogs

Strong, unexpected, strong, believable characters, great performances

Abduction

absolutely the BEST movie of the entire summer/fall season so far, what Tron was for the previous year! A magical film with an extremely charismatic young protagonist.

Contagion

beautiful, believable, good plot, good story, great performances and utterly possible!

Spy Kids

beautifully made, interesting 3D imagery, a good kids movie

One Day

beautiful concept, beautiful movie, painfully beautiful actually and that Mr. Sturgess has turned into a hunky Mc Hunkface through the years! See it!

the smurfs

a nice throw-back to the childhood of those older hunks, rather boring but ingeniously cast with a wonderful Mr. Azaria as Gargamel and a great group of cameo performances

the help

beautiful, touching, inspiring, ingeniously acted

The change-up

the script is a variation on a well-known theme but the protagonist duo works beautifully because they are beautifully cast. Finally a role that seemed suitable for Mr. Reynolds because he finally plays himself (see 'Green Lantern' review). a little rough around the edges as far as the comedic script but the hunk is filthy and doesn't really mind shit like that

Captain America first avenger

if you exclude Mr. Evans' presence which is steaming hot, the rest of the movie is predictable, check one more carbon-copy product of the super-hero genre machine that keeps on churning one superhero shit after the other (see 'green Lantern' review)

30 minutes or less

beautiful moving picture, beautifully cast, great comedic script, original, the Eisenberg-Ansari duo is wonderful, both 2 rising comedic superstars!

Bad Teacher

hahaha i have to say there was some pretty original comedy in that movie :)

'Transformers' , my ass... 'Trans-boredom"

I'd say Transformers was the bore-fest of the year!

Super 8

Yes, the Hunk saw THAT too

The Hunk gets around, you know?

So the Hunk saw 'super 8'

The Hunk didn't NOT like it - no

The Hunk LIKED it

It's just that - and the hunk is not trying to be bitchy - it's just that Mr. Abrams is not Steven Spielberg

A Steven Spielberg Mr. Abrams is not, I dare say and with great sorrow

That said, Mr. Abrams a bad job did NOT do - no...

Mr. Abrams a GOOD job did

The opening scene especially was/is stupendous, very hypnotic, very suggestive, very clever, brilliant

and it's all downhill from there... no, just kidding, it's good, it's a good movie go see it, touching, moving, emotional, it has a certain atmosphere, a certain 'I don't know what' as the french would say (and do)

Judy Moody

Ooops, I did it again...

Yes, the Hunk went to the movies again

The hunk was troubled by the muggy weather, the hunk was feeling uneasy and restless and when that happens - well, when that happens the hunk has to do IT (go to the movies, that is)

The hunk was rewarded grandly even before he entered the movie theater

The hunk saw the most beautiful young man, with the most beautiful ass, wearing a beautiful pair of jeans that beautifully described his luscious buttocks and a wonderful shirt with nice vertical blue striped that beautifully displayed his beautiful upper body and torso, a wonderful, tall, blonde young man, a wonder of Nature

The hunk could see his beautiful tight ass walk up the steps of Park station as the hunk was headed towards the movie theater and the hunk should like to have interacted and spoken and gotten to know that beautiful young man slightly better but, alas, the Hunk has the reticence and disposition of a little girl

the hunk has always been tormented and riddled by his shyness

So but dare I sat that I SAW Judy Moody

And dare I say that I LIKED actually liked Judy Moody

So but dare I also maybe add that the Hunk is not exactly the target audience of the Judy Moody movie

So but dare I also maybe also add that the Hunk is not a little girl anymore

So but dare i also add that the Hunk is now a full-grown young man

So but dare I also add that despite all these contrary things the Hunk thought that the Judy Moody movie was a proper tribute to childhood, a celebration, if you will, of childhood, the diametrical version of 'The Tree of Life' movie (see crappy review below) but for children

Dare I say that I loved the photography, the cinematography, the brilliance of color, the characters, the plot, the fast pace

I mean the movie is based on a friggin' book so you expect a certain level of excellence of script and you get it

So dare I say that this movie took me back to my childhood days, right back to the days school ended and summer stretched right before me and I had all these greams and expectations for the summer and all these hopes for all these revelations for the summer and the summer would usually  - if not always  - let the young Hunk down, but softly, as the summer often does

So but anyway go see the fucking movie, you'll love it and it's great for kids, too!


P.S. Oh by the way, the hunk saw the Green Lantern again, yes yet again today and the hunk didn't change his mind one-bit!

The hunk saw the Green Lantern again in 3D in the hope that it would give Mr. Reynolds (Mr. Reynolds himself, not the character he...portrays) some depth, some depth of vision...something

Alas, the third dimension just added another. YET another dimension of disappointment to the bad opinion the hunk already harbored for Mr. Reynolds and the movie

because the hunk is fair, the hunk loves to give secong chances, the hunk is loving, the hunk doesn't like to put people down, but, alas, the hunk is continuously being disappointed by the lack of talent and the lack of character of people around him as well as people on the silver screen (is it still silver?)

They could add a million dimensions to this movie and the hunk would still not see it again

It just goes to show you that the hunk is not swayed by modern technology, whatever the hunk says, goes, there are no if's, and's or butt's about it

That said, I KNOW you're going to see it anyway, so go see it, break the hunks' heart, you wouldn't be the first, you won't be the last

The hunk has suffered inumerous  (sic) heartbreaks and humiliations and heartbreaks

So go on, take another little piece of my heart now babe...and SEE the Green Lantern - at your own risk

Let's hope that studmuffin - I forget his name now - does a better job on Captain America, The First Avenger, otherwise he'll have a raging Hunk on his - lovely - tail!

Midnight In Paris

That said, Midnight In Paris is a tired movie by an old man

That said, I don't mean to be mean but I've never really liked Woody Allen

That said, he's probably a genius or something but I just don't like his movies that much

that said, even if you're a genius, you make flops from time to time, especially in old age

That siad, Midnight in Paris still has a certain flair, a certain 'I don't know what' as the french would say, a certain magic, mystique, atmosphere


That said, initially i thought i would need to storm out of the theater on account of that annoying nasal voice Mr. Wilson sometimes employs

Thankfully I was able to suck it up or ignore it, I can't remember which one

That said, overall this was a simple little film with a simple little story with a simple little twist, clearly adorable but still something my parents might enjoy more than me

that said, if you have nothing better to see, see it, see if I care

That said, exactly why is Mr. Allen considered a genius?

That said, what is it with America's fascination with Paris? 

That said, I've always loved Mr. Wilson's boyish body and looks and his boyish dirty blonde hair but still he's way too old for my tastes

Bridemaids

Let me just say that I saw this movie and let me just say that I thought it was hilarious, with the same brand of humour that made 'McGruber' so adorable last year (well that and the perfection of the gorgeousness that IS Ryan Phillippe - who by the way - I think has deep psychological issues that he needs to overcome because why would he need to screw around otherwise - I mean, let's face it, he's gorgeous and everything but why can't he just commit to a single lady - I mean, let's face it, how is it that he apparently just 'falls in love' with whomever he just happens to be co-starring in a movie, I mean just keep it in your pants man, I mean, yes, he IS the perfectest male guy beauty ever to grace the face of this earth but I mean just keep it in your pants Ryan), which of course originates from the comedians of SNL

That said, let me just say that Kristen Wiig is the finest thing to appear in comedy since Kathy griffin

That said, let me just say that its one downfall, if there are any, is the same one as that of McGruber - it just looks like a stitching-together of a bunch of SNL skits

That said, see it, you won't be disappointed

That said, the stupid Loews theater where I saw it is infested with mice that keeping walking over peoples feet and so I and the girl next to me spent the last twenty minutes of this fine comedy worrying about the mice in the theater

That said, I think we should get our money back or at leas that Loews should do something about this problem

That said, I've been frequenting that theater for almost ten years and it's only this year that I came across this mouse infestation

That said, this is unacceptable for a fine institution like Loews-fuckin'-theaters

That said, someone should get fired for this - but not those cute boys that clean the theaters after the viewing public have exited, because these are just some poor young studly shmucks who are just doing this shitty job to earn some money to take their girl out on Friday

That said, on second thought fire their sweet asses, see if I care

That said, i take it back, I like those young cuties (just the men, I'm no lesbian if you know what I mean)

That said, maybe they SHOULD get fired, the lot of them - I don't know, I'll sleep on that and decide tomorrow

That said, see the fuckin' movie, at least you'll laugh your ass off - that said, is there anything more important that that?

That said, yeah, probably there is but it's too late to expand on that thought

Thor

Let me just say that the best thing about that movie is Mr. Hemsworth, who rivals his hunky brother in beauty, albeit of a more rugged, masculine ilk

Let me just say that the finest scene in that movie was that of Mr. Hemsworth baring his perfect torso, to reveal a perfectly shaped, chiseled, V-shaped upper body, long muscular legs, lustful shoulder-length blonde hair, icy-blue eyes

Let me say also that the other best thing about this movie is Mr. Hopkins, who is a fine actor and gives a powerful, commanding performance, very convincing, definitive

Let me also add that the movie is visually stunning, the fantastic world in which these gods live being utterly stunning, evoking, transporting

Let me just say that it kind of lags in the middle, during which you're waiting for Thor to show what an awesome god he is and instead get a -for the most part- clothed version of him fumbling around

Let me just say that the relationship with the girl never really unfolds completely, and really leaves something to be desired and you really can't believe that he goes back to his fantastic world thinking of her

Let me just say that Mr. Branagh does a fine job in attempting to give a touch of class to the whole 'cookie-cutter' mentality that seems to govern the whole Marvel super-hero movie (see 'The Green Lantern' review, or don't see if I care...)

Let me just say that Mr. Branah's touching attempt to imbibe this movie with a touch of class rivals Mr. Li's similar attempt with the first 'Hulk' movie but I think does not quite match it since Mr. Li is really a visual cinematic poet and Mr. Branah is a wonderful Shakespearean actor, well-meaning, well intentioned, but Ang Li he is not...

Let me just say that Thor is worth seeing if only for the shirtless shots of our new cinematic stud muffin Chris Hemsworth (who nevertheless needs to work a little bit on the charisma but we'll let that go by for the time being on account of his perfect body and gorgeousness and of the fact that he appears to be so likeable, although you can't really tell with men if they're worth trusting or liking or loving - but that's another story) and also the thespian genius of Mr. Hopkins - but you definitely won't want to see it a second time - trust me, I tried but then got utterly bored and walked out after the shirtless shot of Mr. Hemsworth

The Green Lantern

Let me just say that ever since Marvel released the rights to their comic book super heroes, Hollywood has relentlessly started cranking out one piece of super hero shit after another, with absolutely no originality, no surprises, nothing to write home about - although I probably should and will

That said, the Green Lantern was no exception

That said, I was as disappointed as I thought I would be by watching the trailer

That said, the trailer was utterly honest in giving us, the viewing public, a true preview of the true essence of what was to come - and sadly did...

That said, there was nothing unexpected, nothing new, nothing original

That said, I hate Mr. Reynolds

That said, who does Mr. Reynolds think he really is?

That said, those luscious muscles and that perfect figure and that gorgeous body and that lustful physique and that perfect waist and those broad shoulders and those gleaming biceps and those slim loins certainly don't fool anyone

That said, I think there's something sad and secretive about the MAN HIMSELF, something beyond the overlap of the asshole persona he portrays in the movie with his true personality, that make him utterly unlikeable and ultimately indifferent of whether he'll save the world or himself or (spoiler alert) end up falling into the Sun, drawn by its powerful gravitational force

For that reason I think this movie has the same drawback as that of a similar ilk - the unfortunate recent 'Green Hornet' (maybe it's the color green that jinxes these super hero movies, who knows?), which failed to make us identify with the leading character

That said, the movie delivers precisely what it promises, so if you're into that crappy super hero junk, just go see it, see if I care...

That said I might decide to give Mr. Reynolds a second chance, in case he's simply a very unlikely deep character or going through something profound, but mostly on account of his utter gorgeousness

That said the movie is still a piece of shit

Tree of Life

Let me just say that the Tree of Life was an utterly pretentious, self-involved, self-referential, self-obsessed, full of itself, self-indulging, cinematographically uber-masturbatory piece of SHIT!

The movie theater was nearly empty, people were walking out throughout the movie, an utter DISASTER

That said, let me just point out that I also loved it

I thought it utterly courageous of Mr. Pitt, who stars and I do believe also co-produced this piece of shit, to push the envelope so far and be part of something so different and original

That said, you couldn't really tell what the heck this movie was about

It was a Freudian study in self-indulgence, the persistence of memory, fatherhood, Oedipal complexes, motherhood, childhood, family, Embryology, the Universe, the Big Bang, whatever...

To its credit, it was also visually provoking, interesting

The children actors were fantastic, and especially the younger one bore an uncanny resemblance to Mr. Pitt, that kid will surely grow up to be a hunk of beauty

That said, this movie was really a poem in images and I highly recommend it to one and all - you'll hate it but you'll also love it

Go see that shit